Lately I’ve been learning a lesson the hard way: You have to have faith in yourself before receiving it from others. Because people will almost always discourage you, strangers and sometimes even people who you thought would always support you no matter what.
I don’t mean to be a pessimist, I know not all people are like that. But certain people always have a habit of giving you their opinion about certain matters, and it makes you doubt yourself, your decisions and even your abilities.
I was to go to medical college this year, but I realized that isn’t what I want to do and decided to take a gap year and apply for English next year. And ever since I’ve made that decision, about 85% of the people who know about that have discouraged me and said that it is of no value and I’ll never get a job in the future. A woman, who I consider close and was my teacher for 9 years, told me it will get me nowhere and that I should change my decision. Even my own mother has doubts about it. I can’t blame them completely because where I live, it is a norm for society to only give value to a medical or engineering degree. Most of the other subjects are thought of as an easy way out of education, and almost worthless.
I love writing. It comes naturally to me and it is something I enjoy doing. And I have the opportunity to study it and make a career out of it, even though I know there will be many obstacles along the way and people will say things about me and judge me. Yet I find myself doubting my decision because of all the things people have been whispering in my ears, like failing and not getting anywhere in life.
I feel sad admitting this but most of the time I’ve let their words discourage me. Even now I have doubts. But I’ve also realized that only I can motivate myself and push myself to do my best and prove them all wrong. I will do it for myself and I will show them what I’m made of along the way. It’s just that some days my resolve is not as strong as it usually is and I find myself spiraling into a pit of despair and self-doubt.
I’ve recently realized just how much I’ve let others affect my decisions, and I am now trying my hardest to trust myself more and have faith in myself.
So if you who is reading this is at that point in your life where you feel discouraged and feel like the world is against you and trying to bring you down, believe. Just believe; in yourself and in your abilities. You are the only one who knows yourself best. So, use their words and their metaphorical hate-sticks and turn them into flowers of belief and faith and prove them wrong. More importantly, prove yourself right, that you do have what it takes and you can do anything you set your mind on.
“All you need is a little faith, trust, and pixie dust.” -Peter Pan
I don’t mean to sound infuriatingly optimistic or naive when I say this, but belief and faith do go a long way, especially when you are the one carrying them inside of you. So, just believe in yourself. And if you still need someone to believe in you, well then you’re reading her words right now; I really and truly believe that you will succeed. I just hope that, in given time, you come to believe in yourself too.
© Ashes 2017