If someone were to ask me if I’d let go of the ability to feel emotions if given the option, I would flat out refuse. My emotions, my empathy has always been a part of me that I’ve cherished, even through the times it caused me a lot of pain and heartbreak.

But for a while now, fate has been testing my patience and my resolve to continue wanting to feel everything.

Like when someone you care deeply for tells you that you were the worst decision they ever made.
Like when you have feelings for someone who you know is not interested in you in the very least.
Like when you see your friend get their heart broken as the person they care for yearns for someone else.
Like whens your sister loses her will to live and she finally reveals that to you when you’re in a different country and too far away to help.
Like when you see a father separated from his kids and he only gets to meet them after more than year.
Like when you see a family broken after their son decides to end his life and burns himself alive.
Like when you see life break your friend’s spirit to the point where they start considering ending their very existence.

I have been blessed with so much and so many wonderful and supportive people. And I have much to be grateful for.
It’s just that when life throws hurdles your way, you tend to get so immersed in them and it evokes such hopelessness in you that you forget to look at the good and only focus on the bad.

I’m trying though. Every single day. And for now that’s enough of a start for me.

© Ashes 2018


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