A Letter to Remind Myself Who I Am

Dear Me,
This is You,
Me,
Get up
The ground is your reward
It will hold you when you are done
Cancel all forks you are not done

Dear Me,
You’ve come so very far. Please don’t lose hope. Not now when you can sense a change about to come into your life. And I know very well how much change scares you; how much it has always scared you. But remind yourself of all the positives that have come from the changes. And remember your strength; you have so much of it, you just need to be reminded every once in a while. And for that, you have a group of amazingly supportive people around you. So don’t worry. Have faith. And trust that things will be okay. Eventually, if not just yet.

Get Up
Despite gravity, with her magnetic arms coaxing your mental dreams away from flight
Despite everything that will be said to weaken you against the towering odds that stand before you like a mountain kissing vertigo into your grip
And daring you to look down

You know how, more often than not, you’ve been your own worst enemy. You remember the days when your demons plagued you constantly, caging all the negative thoughts in your head with no way for them to escape and free you from the prison that became your mind. You remember how they turned you into a shell of your former self; how they let you live but didn’t allow you to truly live.
But you got through them. And you continue to get through them each and every day and I don’t say this as often as I should, but I am so proud of you.
Always remember that you are not alone, and although I know you prefer to fight your battles on your own, just remember that you always have people there for you to lean on. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it.

Your lungs will fill
Like the bank accounts of the corrupt
Your lungs will collapse
Like backyard tents after ghost stories and strange noises
Breathe
Dear me,
There will be another breath
Dear me,
Silence is not a psalm you should know all the words to
Dear me,
This is you,
Me,
Sidestep calamity like a matador taking on a bullet
Rise
As if the sun has taken the day off and hired you as its substitute

You know how when you look back at the pictures from when you were little, you always admire the confidence you had and how jolly you used to be. You miss how you always managed to cheer people up. And although you may not be as lively as you once were, you still haven’t lost that aura of yours that always made people come to you for help and allowed them to trust you. The difficult times have not been able to destroy that part of you, and for that I am so grateful.
You’ve always been great at understanding and helping those around you. It’s something that comes to you naturally, and I know how passionate you are about it. Your empathy is a gift, one that can help you connect with people in unique ways and I pray you never lose that. It completes the very essence of who you are as a person. Follow that. Remember that feeling of content you get every time you’re able to help people. Cherish it. But I hope you occasionally give yourself the time and space you know you often need. Also, please remember to make yourself a priority every once in a while.

I truly hope you come to love everything about yourself in time.

Sincerely Yours,
Me.

~ Inspired by “A Letter to Remind Myself Who I Am” by Shane Koyczan

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