I found a grainy photograph the other day. It was taken during a very happy time in my life. It was 3 years ago, on the last day of school. We were excused from all classes and spent the day roaming the school for the last time and just spending time with one another. I remember my friend did my makeup and I looked very frightening, yet I didn’t remove it because I knew I wouldn’t see her for a long time and I wanted to cherish the moment.
The photo is a reminder of how much I’ve changed and how much I miss being the carefree girl I was at that time, before life’s stresses brought me down and made it hard to be like that again. It brought back a nostalgia I had been unconsciously suppressing because I was so immersed in my new hectic life.
Another memory that ‘grainy’ brings back is the voice of someone I care deeply about, who I still care about; someone who is no longer a constant in my life. It’s another reminder of how much life has changed and how I’d love to go back to the good old days. The memory warmed my heart because I shared some of the best days of my life with him and it brought those moments back to me.
When people think of grainy, they think of something not smooth, like an object, or a picture or maybe even someone’s voice. And they don’t necessarily think of it as something good, after all, who would want a grainy photograph?
But to me, grainy isn’t bad at all; quite the opposite really. Grainy makes me happy.
© Ashes 2017