Lately there has been so much pain in my heart, everything feels unreal. I find myself wanting to cry about the simplest of things. My heart feels like it has acid being poured on it. My head feels foggy all the time. A lot of times I don’t remember my actions, or the reasons behind the ones I actually do remember.
Today, I found out about the death of Chester Bennington and that was the last straw for me.
I broke down. I let out more than I have in quite a while through my tears and sobs. I lost a piece of my childhood today. I keep reliving all the memories now, all the songs of Linkin Park that I grew up listening to, that matter to me more than I had realized. The lyrics to the songs were with me through the hard times in my life. And while they’re still alive, the person behind them is gone and I feel so much pain. So many people, including me, have lost someone today; someone who we may never have met or seen perform, but whose words touched us deeply.
I don’t know what kind of pain you must have been in, Chester, for you to have ended your life the way you did. But I’m sorry for all that might have led you to that point in your life.
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
And don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Rest in peace, Chester.
You will forever be in our hearts.
You will forever be missed.
© Ashes 2017