I’ve always had an adventurous streak in me. It’s just that as I got older and the anxiety and fear of the unknown kicked in, I started to suppress that side of mine. This is exactly why I remember feeling very nervous my very first night in the US, because I had no idea what could come next. The uncertainty was suffocating.
The very next day I went out and I forgot why I was scared in the first place because I loved everything around me. I got to meet some very interesting people in my 2 week stay in New York and see amazing sights. I got to see the Manhattan skyline from Long Island City, Central Park, Times Square, Museum of Modern Art, etc. I also went to Boston and Lewiston for a while. I even walked the streets at random for hours and it was wonderful! The whole trip was like a dream, so magical and unreal.
I especially loved traveling by subway because that’s where I met some of the most interesting people throughout the whole trip. One might think it’s weird for me to say that, but we don’t have subways here in Pakistan so it was really new and great fun for me.
At first I was really scared to be there. But now, every other day, I find myself thinking about wanting to go back there someday. I may have just gone there for 2 weeks but I fell in love with New York in that time. Or at least the part of New York that I got to see and explore. And I’d love to explore more of it.
I’m really glad I got to visit New York, not just because it was really fun, but because it reignited that spark of curiosity in me which I thought I had lost. Now, rather than just staying at home fearing the outside and its mysteries, I find myself wanting to go out and explore whatever part of the world I’m in, even if it’s the same old neighborhood I’ve lived in for years. It makes me happy because I discover something new each time.
Some days the fear does get the best of me and I stay at home, but I feel it diminishing slowly day by day and it gives me the motivation to push myself more. I’m glad I’m finally being able to change into someone I’d really like to be. Here’s hoping I stay on track and don’t lose faith in myself.
© Ashes 2017