I’m tired of people telling me who to be and how to change myself. I am aware that I am severely in need of character development but that’s something I’ll have to work on my own. And if people are indeed going to try to help me, then they shouldn’t complain about it later and say that the time they’ve spent on me could have been used more fruitfully for something else.

I have social anxiety and I stress a lot. And if anyone has ever experienced this, they’ll know that it is very hard to overcome the anxiety just to talk to someone and how hard it is sometimes to even function properly in their day-to-day lives. So why not try to be an encouragement to those around you rather than make them feel bad about something that they don’t always have active control over?

I’m trying to improve and it works sometimes but other times I slide right back to where I started. But it would help even more if people didn’t try to tell me how I should be or how I should stick up for myself if someone insults me. I pick my battles and it doesn’t make me a coward if I choose to walk away from some rather than fight back. I have a limited amount of energy and I would just rather not waste it on people whose opinion I don’t even care much about.

Trying to avoid conflict and arguments doesn’t make me a coward, I know that. But if it does so in some people’s eyes, then I’m happy to be one in cases like these.

© Ashes 2017


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