Things I Yearn For

Lately I’ve been craving love. The kind of love you see in movies; so passionate and raw, which comes with obstacles to overcome, proving you can face anything as long as you’re together. The kind of love I had but lost, the kind of love I still dream about, which leaves me with an ache so deep the moment I wake up to find it wasn’t real.

I am a firm believer in the fact that a girl does not need a man to complete her and vice versa. But what I would love is someone who can love every part of me, the crazy parts with the occasional bouts of childish behavior, my random moments where people’s emotions get to me and I need some alone time or just the little things, like being held when I can’t keep it together anymore, the witty banter and the eye contact. I crave a love so deep it shakes me to the core, a love that rattles me inside and out and makes me see things in a new light.

Most of all, I yearn to be loved and accepted for who I am. I yearn for the confirmation that there may be someone out there for me willing to put up with me. Someone who doesn’t complete me, because I want to be whole on my own, but someone who helps me grow into a better person and someone who I can help grow as well; someone who knows me, imperfections and all and is still willing to stay; someone who isn’t scared of the intensity of my emotions. Someone who can accept me for all that I am: an empath, a dreamer and an over-thinker among many things. I yearn to be accepted and to not have to hide who I am.

© Ashes 2017

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Death by Anxiety

I sense the darkness lurking

At the edge of my periphery

It draws nearer

And so does the suffocation

It draws nearer

And so awakens the monster within

Clawing at my insides

Taking its sweet time

Causing me unimaginable anguish

‘Spare me’, I beg

Choking on a sob building up in my throat

But the monster is unmerciful

It just cackles and feeds off of my misery

‘Anything is better than this’, I think to myself

So I let go, slowly but surely

With the final thought that

Death is inevitable

And with it, this pain escapable

© Ashes 2017